of rivers and coffee
by crocketts
Summary: in which Neku is absolutely horrible at hiding a painfully obvious crush on someone who looks twice his age and who is probably actually way older than that. one-sided Neku/Hanekoma. so basically it's canon.


**A/N**: holy SHIT you have no idea how long i've waited to write something like this. it sucks but i don't care here you go

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Any time Neku sees a new CAT mural, or video, or basically anything done by CAT, he wonders how Mr. H finds the time to do it.

He's clearly never all that busy with the café, because, well, no one's _ever_ in there. So he guesses the man finds time whenever he needs to. But hey, there's that, coupled with the whole…being the Producer thing. Which of course Neku would never say he knew about. It wasn't like he'd happened to stumble upon some secret reports not-so-secretly written by a certain multi-talented blessing of a not-quite human being. Nope, not at all. Where would anyone even get that idea?

Anyways, he's probably late. Late to go to Wildkat, that is. But that just means he's right on time, because it's not like he has a _plan_ to go there or anything. He just kind of happens to walk in there sometimes, just to hang out, and he likes to act as if he's just kind of there out of coincidence. Y'know, because he just kind of happens to pass by and thinks "why not" and steps in for a few minutes. That kind of thing only happens probably once a week. Like, of course he can't act _too_ clingy, because that would just be weird, right? And he's pretty sure Mr. H likes to pretend he doesn't notice how often Neku ends up not even buying anything, and holy _hell_ he can't even express how grateful he is for that. Nor will he. Ever.

"Hey there, Neku."

And wow, he's totally horrible. Because hearing his actual name out of the mouth of who is basically his idol sends this awesome sensation through him.

"I'm just – I just thought I'd grab a cup of coffee, is all." Ugh, it's so embarrassing, feeling obligated to come up with some sort of excuse now, because he knows for a fact that he's been in there way too many times for it to be considered a coincidence. But then there's that smile and wink Hanekoma gives him, and it's like, 'I know you're lying but I won't call you out on it because that's just not how I roll and also it's kind of funny.' Neku can't possibly be any more thankful that his shirt covers most of his face, because he's noticed how his face has been pretty damn red lately. Maybe he's catching a cold or something.

Of course, that feeling all too quickly gives way to something else entirely, and damn, he just can't help but feel as comfortable as possible in this guy's presence. Could've been something in the coffee, sure, but Neku was pretty certain that Hanekoma just gave off this aura of perpetual calmness.

It felt way too good.

"I've noticed you've been a bit distant with the little lady," his tone of voice is kind of reprimanding, but also curious. "Want to share why?"

Oh…aw, hell no. That's just not fair. That kind of concern just makes Neku's stomach do dumb flips because he's a teenager with this dumb little celebrity (sort of) crush and also, well, he's dumb. So there's that.

"…Not really." But of course he doesn't mean it. "She just…needs her space right now. I thought I'd give her a little time to adjust to…being with Eri again. And to being Shiki."

He's guessing that's the right answer, since Hanekoma gives him a little nod and a smile and he _almost_ returns the gesture before realizing that he'd probably look stupid doing so.

Except he realizes that he should probably bail, since he almost never stays this long, so he takes off with his unfinished, mostly untouched coffee.

"I'll…see you." He gives a light wave and turns away, trying to act like he doesn't care what the man's response is.

It's not long before he's back at the Scramble Crossing, and he doesn't really want to go home just yet, so he decides to do some wandering.

It's also not long before he realizes that Hanekoma himself is slipping right past Hachiko and headed toward the Shibuya River. Which is strange, he thinks, because he's halfway across the city now, and he probably should have noticed Mr. H go past him before this. And it's not really a place Neku would like to visit again, but something about being able to learn more about CAT drives him to follow the tall man anyways. Because his idolization of CAT transcends far past stupid, silly things like caution and common sense, of course.

Silently, Neku hopes to whatever God is out there – praying that Josh isn't _actually_ God, because hell, he doesn't even want to know – that Hanekoma doesn't notice a redheaded kid following him. But he probably does, and so the next best thing Neku can hope for is that Hanekoma at least _pretends_ he doesn't notice anyone following him. Hey, at least one of those things is correct.

Things get really uncomfortable really fast, because the deeper he goes, the closer he knows he's getting to the Composer's place. Is he really being allowed this far in? He almost doubts that he's still doing this just for the sake of following Hanekoma, but _nah_, he's pretty sure of how deep his worship of CAT runs. Because most of what Neku thinks whenever he talks to Hanekoma is "Damn, this is CAT. I'm talking to CAT. I talk to CAT on a regular basis!" Which, by the way, is totally embarrassing, because he's really not at all good at hiding it.

His heartbeat races the closer he gets to what he knows is the Dead God's Pad. No way. He's not actually being let in. Not now. Why now? Why choose now, of all –

Then, suddenly, Hanekoma stops, and there's nowhere Neku can go to hide. He gets it now – he's only been led in as far as they wanted him to. At the very least, this was confirmation that those three weeks hadn't been a lie, that they'd actually happened. But still, he's being played with. Again. Except this time, it's not Joshua, or any of the Game Masters, or even a Reaper that's playing games with him. It's Hanekoma. The one person he respects above everyone else.

But why? Why do this? Did he really not notice Neku until now? Or...was he being kind enough to show him proof of his experience in the game?

Maybe he was giving Mr. H a bit too much credit.

"End of the line, Phones. Sorry." Yeah, no, he's not even close to sorry. "Thanks for playin'."

And then everything is black.

And once he wakes up in his bed again, he almost finds it in himself to be angry at Mr. H.

Almost.


End file.
